oh really now?

i cant ever park straight.
my tint is peeling off my drivers window.
i havent had a car wash since october.

my friends are gay.
i dont mean like "funny" or anything.
i mean homosexuals.
like the parts that they have, they like them.
a lot.

i havent smoked in 2 days & i feel like tyrone biggums.

i dont do anything at work all day.
i mean nothing.
and i hate my co-workers.
granted theres only 2 of them, but i wish they would disappear.
not die, just get out of my face.

my current blackberry (8830) is the most
poorly designed one in recent years.
the curve is out (finally) for sprint but i dont want to part
with this piece of shit.

i wish babies skipped the ages of 2 - 18.
like youre born, then youre an adult.
kids make me sick.

when people with gaps smile, i find it extremely
hard to contain my laughter.

im such a fucking jerk.